Fear is an emotion, that is, it is an intense amount of energy, that will bring forth actions. It is also something that one must overcome in order to see the truth. In order to overcome fear, one must be logical and brave. To not overcome fear, one only has to flee. It's either u fight it, or u flight it.

I have a fear. It is an unknown fear. It is unknown because I'm a deep stirer. My emotions and passion runs deep. On the surface, it looks serene. Beneath the surface by a thousand feet, runs a state of violent turbulence that eventually, with time, would crack the surface. In order to not harm anyone who is sailing on my sea, naturally, i would prefer no one sailing in here.

I fear rebound.

Earlier on, i visited one of my girlfriend's blog. Her name is J. I saw her posts, all of it sounded depressing to me. Let's talk a lil about this J here. She used to have a STRING OF BOYFRIENDS, before settling on this one right now. She had a great personality, she's got those height (short), she's got those looks, she's got the brains, she's also had the guts to reject and accept. So her popularity spreaded like wild fire. Such openness wouldn't stop any guy from saying "NO" to her.

However, she had herself settled, like... 3-4 years ago. Her ex was together with her for this long. And they broke up due to "cannot see a future together" reason. HAHA. isn't it the same as mine? I only got to know this reason when i heard it from her mouth today! She called me up.

Her ex doesn't appreciate dance. J was a dancer (so was i -_-). He was a bastard who tried to stop her from dancing. J's only passion was to dance ya? Gradually a lot of differences surfaced, then J bade him goodbye. During this period of time, her boyfriend, E, was all along by her side.

E was J's "godbrother". They knew each others for around 5 years. MSN/SMS/RL.

Look, they got together after J had broken up with her ex ya?

J thought that E might be a good choice later on. She hadn't got a "resting period" for herself to think through. She went out with E and they were both very in love... However, their 6 months relationship, is now on the rocks.

Reason? There was not enough, and no deep understanding of each other. Right from the start, knowing each other as just "friends" doesn't constitute what a lover can do for u. I recalled that i used to get her calls to tell me how happy she was. Right now, she's crying everyday... I feel so much for her. I wanted to help her badly. I can't. Seeing this, I don't want to land up in her state...

What J did was a rebound.

When a lady had just gotten out of love, her tendancy to rely on another person is strong. It can get so strong that it blinded the lady herself. She may even misunderstood that FOR love. And the NEW guy may later on, be able to accept everything what this lady has! A man in love accepts all flaws of the woman he loves. Afterall, men being men, they do not really like to complicate such love matters.

For J, whom believe that she had truly loved E right now, is living in misery. WHY? Ok. This E guy, I had met him before. He's a childish brat. 23 year old. TALK TO HIM, CAN DIE. (I NO LIKE WASTE TIME ON SUCH BOYS) Is it because she chose the wrong guy to be with? *wondering* cuz he's hopelessly immature... Or is it, she chose the right guy, just that she had brought her past emotions along? (BAH! I STILL DON'T THINK THIS IS THE REASON. that guy is lousy!!!)

For myself. What do i think?

I will choose to rest for some period of time, before picking up another relationship. WHY? The reason is simple.

I want the best for him. In order to get to the best, one needs time to know what can be gathered. What needs to be changed. What needs to be corrected. What needs to be learnt. How to listen. How to truly understand. How to make the other person happy. How to further communicate. What are the ways of respecting each other. How to respect him. How to respect myself. etc. the list goes on.

Now i know why some people practice singlehood. It's good! It is a time for self-reflection!

I'd been attached all my life (if i am going to die tomorrow). Right now, in order to overcome the fear I had mentioned. I need time.

I will try to talk to J over the phone or accompany her out these days perhaps. She may need someone to kp to. =) hais... hope she feels better.

Bottom line is this.

Do not fall for the right man, with the wrong emotions.
N
Do not ever fall for the wrong man.

like this, i can be sure, i'm getting the right one, with the right emotions, all in place.

Labels: DO NOT FALL FOR THE WRONG MAN.