I read someone's blog though, one of my bestie's bf's blog. I'm not ashamed to say, i've read his, due to boredom or sheer concern (which was really weird). How it goes after reading his blog was... why the hell does he sounded so much like my ex huh? Is it true, that all guys after they're in, or just out of NS, makes them a bunch of people who do not know how to balance their emotions? One sentence that sorta "impacted" me in a very bad way. I got quite upset after reading it. It goes like... "where were u when i nidded tat support from u most?"

It was like... sounding quite ridiculous... The reason being, because human aren't god, and really, they aren't. How would anyone know if u're feeling exceptionally upset or vulnerable at any point in time, when there wasn't really any signal shown? Sometimes, human tend to shut themselves in their own world when they're upset. The expectation exists, somehow, that they just feel that their "other half" ought to somehow "know", that they're feeling really upset and wanted to be sayang. I'd walked through dark waters. I know what it was like. But in retrospective, I felt that i was really unreasonable. Why? Because, at that point when i was feeling bad, doesn't it come to me to know too, that my other half was feeling just as bad? Will he be laughing at me, if i'm feeling bad? Wouldn't he be as upset as I? He will, definitely will, if he loves me. Doesn't it sound logical?

Then again. Human at a certain point in their lives, tend to lose control of their own emotion. I will place it as a growing up process. They're defensive. They do not listen. They pluck certain word out of a huge sentence that somehow "offended them" and den blew their tops over it. Why do they just spend a little more patience, to listen to the entire story before plucking something out of an innocent sentence of sheer concern? Does sarcasm really work? If it does, why does it makes u feel upset? Why? Ask yourself why. Reflect! Please!

(i'm also learning, still learning...)

Seriously speaking... It really felt nolstagic. My ex was one person like that. I hated it, seriously. I went to a point of knowing that he was totally immature and my temper was just too bad to rationalise anything out with him. So was he. It was a tough route. We past it. Bad memories. So what? I'd picked precious lessons out of the entire mess. However hurt that was inflicted was only temporary. How do u expect yourself to ever hate a person for your entire life? Wasting part of your brain compartment just to contain his bad doings and make yourself feel miserable for your entire life? No, it's not worth it, and to go deeper in, you're really wasting your kindness. You are surrendering yourself to that pitch darkness of hatred. What for?! It doesn't even buy you lunch to hate someone that long. Doesn't bring you any money, or means of living. Doesn't really motivate you either, does it?

Then to go back to the topic of this guy's blog. I viewed him as a normal person but with an erratic emotional swing. Perhaps due to stress, or due to the "growing up process", or lack of understanding of himself, or women, etc... bla... I don't know.

I wouldn't say that he doesn't love my friend, perhaps somewhere he does, but do not know how to express it correctly. I've dealt with him before though... I do not like that experience. I felt like, I've wasted a part of me talking to him reasons.

I hope that as time passes, he grows. IF really possible, please bring her happiness, will u?

***

Aiks... and earlier on, i've got bestie who called me up. She was crying on the other end. I hope she's alright after the cry. People, CRY OK? IF YOU'RE FEELING UPSET ETC... DON'T BOTTLE UP! IT WOULDN'T HELP YOU ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH! Soon, it will affect your PHYSICAL HEALTH! Crying, is not a weakness. It is a process that makes you stronger after each set back. In my opinion, I feel that whoever says that crying is a weakness, are just human who hold too hard on themselves. If they're to fall, it may really be a bad one. Aiks. Yet, for some, they're really strong human who can defeat tears! Muahaha. I bet they trained their eye muscles. =D

*control! controllllll....!!! tears!!!!!! don't u dare fall!!! connnnntrrroolll...-gekgekgek-* ok, it's a joke la. =)